Saturday, February 25, 2012

2012...The one thing you can expect is change...

2012 has indeed been a year of changes. Most notably, my 21 year old son David, returned from serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It has been humbling indeed to see how much he has grown up. He seems to have gained an added measure of maturity, thankfulness, gratitude, and helpfulness. I am told to enjoy it, because it wears off. We were blessed in so many ways while he was gone. It is said,"When we give a crust of bread to the Lord he will bless us with a loaf in return." Not only were we blessed to help support him on his mission financially, but we also were blessed to have the resources to pay for a wedding. This was miraculous as my work available is always varied and I never know how much I will get paid until I actually have worked the hours no matter how many days I schedule myself. So, this was a very huge miracle.

I have continued to work on pre-requisites to hopefully get a spot in our hospital's company sponsored Baccalaureate Nursing program. My eyes have been opened. I was informed in addition to the degree I already have I must complete an additional computer class and English class. I felt okay with the computer class. There were several people (mostly men) older than I in that class. However, in my English class, that was not the case. I was by far the oldest person in the class of mostly twenty-somethings, like more than twice as old. I am even older than the instructor. I of course explained why I was taking the class. The instructor asked me if I felt disconnected or out of touch. I think to his surprise I said, "No, some of my kids are the same ages as my classmates so I can actually relate." I really knew I was, "older" when I had to write an essay on whether or not I thought I was up to date on what was cool. I was so out of style that the styles were already coming back in and were popular that I recognized as being so "80's." Sheesh!

I was really worried when I had to write my first 6 page essay thinking I would get comments like,"you need to go back and take remedial English" or "This is the most horrible essay I have ever read." But to my delight and surprise I received 50/50 points and he wrote it was very "thoughtful." Boy was I surprised! When I relayed this to a friend of mine that is an obstetrician that is my age, she was unsurprised and gave a high 5 and fist pump to women returning to school and proving themselves as better students then the twenty-year olds.

She is also the one who was truly happy when I announced my 21 year old daughter's marriage. Everyone else felt she was too young. But not this doctor. She said,"I see thousands of women. All of them that have waited until later in life to get married have all said that there was someone special earlier in their life they had the opportunity to marry, but instead chose to wait. Now they see themselves having difficulty having babies, rushing against their inner clock, to beat it." And, "How much better it is to finish growing up those last years of their twenties with someone they love. There are less opportunities for women to meet mates after college, since no one wants to date a co-worker. How much more there is to choose from while you are in college." Again she came to my rescue to reassure what I already knew to be true.

It hasn't been easy raising five kids, but rest assured it is worth every single second of effort. There were many times I would have rather gotten much needed sleep instead of waking up early to make sure we got to church on my husband's weekends working. His support and love is invaluable. There were many times when our kids didn't understand why we said, "No." I wish I would have learned this sentiment earlier,"I'm okay with you not understanding,"when they tried in vain to convince us of something we disagreed with.

Now it's my hope they will always find themselves in the right place, doing the right thing at the right time as each of them move through their various phases of finishing high school, starting and finishing college, and starting out on married life. I wish for them to have wisdom beyond their years to make wise choices that may affect them the rest of their lives.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

My Annual Post

It seems I post only when something huge happens. This time it was something little. For whatever crazy reason I decided I needed to add one more thing to my plate. I signed up to have a Japanese exchange (nursing) student for about 2 1/2 weeks. No big deal unless you consider I have barely had the time to exhale these past few weeks, visiting daughters that grew up, having my sons wisdom teeth extracted, barely flying in 7 hours in the middle of the night before his appointed time to loose his teeth that have been providing extra measures of wisdom... so in preparation for this student a few things needed to be done.

I decided she will bunk with Nia, literally in the top bunk that Anna used to inhabit. I have to confess since no one has been using that bed (nor did I anticipate anyone sleeping in that top bunk), so I hadn't laundered her sheets, even though she married just a handful of months ago. So since the exchange student will be arriving in oh say 48 hours I thought it would be a prudent thing to do. It was like a trip down memory lane. In addition to numerous very large stuffed animals I found in Anna's bed:
  • Her favorite baby blanket with pink edging and tiny pink baby lambs, so worn from washing there is no flannel left on it.
  • Her favorite stuffed bunny she has had since she was about 2 feet tall.
  • Sponge Bob Square PANTS jersey knit sheets.
  • Sponge Bob Square PANTS little blanket that traveled with her to all of her races.
  • A stuffed animal with a tag on it given to her for her birthday by a boy she once had a crush on.
  • The Holly Hobby blanket her Grandma Mary made for her, totally worn as well.
I hugged her little bunny & held her baby blanket & remembered the little girl that was mine & is all grown up, married & graduating from college. I once heard that memories are so that in the December of our lives we can remember the spring roses. Okay so it's not quite the December of my life, I'm guessing more like the summer, but still I also think about the privilege of being home with your children gives you twice as many memories to have when they are all gone.

How I miss my girls that have grown up, it's hard to not cry when you leave them, it seems you leave a little piece of your heart & just hope they know how so very much you love them.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Ooops I did it again, but can I do it another time?

Since I had already been loosing weight from my mortifying 30 year reunion experience, I was already on the right road when my daughter out of nowhere became engaged & I had 12 weeks to help her with her wedding, tailor 5 bridemaids dresses with sleeves, and all of the other motherly things one does when her daughter gets married, oh & work, it was very motivating to stay on track to look decent for the pictures. Because you know, wedding pictures are forever. Since that wedding came & went, my enthusiasm for going to the gym & restricting myself also came & went & kept on going, till low & behold, my second daughter announced she too was getting married. I have had ample time to loose weight. The only problem is much of what I have lost I keep finding it back. It is now crunch time. The wedding is a mere 6 weeks away. How much can I possibly loose in 6 weeks? Hard to say. Sometimes I feel like giving it up & throwing it all to the wind, then I see an acquaintance of mine that I have known for nearly 30 years, my same age, almost same height, wearing a cute sweater dress with boots. I want to wear a cute sweater dress & boots too! She is the busiest person in the world with a thriving medical practice, yet she has disciplined herself, exercises & eats right. Can I do it too?

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Pigs can really fly! But my son just can't picture it!

Not that I became the perfect mother, but after being mortified at pushing maximum capicity weight wise and attending my 30 year high school reunion, AND seeing nearly everyone else looking great, AND not having lost the 40 or so pounds I needed to loose, I finally did it!!! Well at least half-way!

YES!!! I actually have managed to loose about 22 pounds since my reunion in September & keep on counting. Okay, how did I do it? The way Valerie Bertanalli did, I realized I just plain & simple needed to cut back, so I enlisted the help of "Jennifer Craig" as a co-worker calls her (not from this country), I just could not figure out who's number she was asking for when another co-worker says, "I think she means Jenny Craig". It's amazing the weight you can loose consuming a mere 1200 calories a day.

And yes, I hit the gym, not really big time, but a couple of times a week. I just love,love, love the dance classes. It just grosses one of my sons out though. He says covering his eyes "Mom I just can't get the picture of it in my head." It's just too weird for him to imagine his mother dancing around.
But he better get used to it! Let me tell you though, some of those women can move! So I'm jamming, salsa-ing, rumba-ing, mambo, mamba, whatever- you- call- it- ing, my excess away after giving birth 5 times & loving every minute of it.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Confession of the Slightly Mashed Earrings

It was my Lucky Day! I had just happened to find one of my 14k gold earrings on the front lawn I usually cut across from our driveway to our front door. It was even luckier as my husband had just mowed the lawn. I noticed my earring appeared slightly mashed on one side, but counted myself lucky that it wouldn't probably be noticed too much because of the design. I only own a handful of pairs of 14k gold earrings, but I noticed another pair had a slight dent in one earring also. I found it curious & thought I must really be moving around a lot in my sleep & probably should stop wearing them at night.

Lo & behold as I was examining another pair of earrings that happened to have also a slight mashing to one earring & was trying to puzzle it out loud when my 12 year old says to me with a little quirk on her face, "Uh Mom, one day when I was little (translate as 10 years old), I wanted to see if your earrings were real gold so I bit down on them to see." Sure enough, every single pair of 14K gold earrings had one of each pair with a slight dent, corresponding to a "little Bite."

What is a mom supposed to do? I laughed, & am sure I will have fond memories of this little confession when she is "big & off to college." I'm sure then it will seem special to me. For now, I am the mom with 5 kids wearing the earrings certified by a 10 year old to be "Real Gold."

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

After The 30 Year Reunion

I was amazed at how well everyone looked! As is my usual motive of operandi, I waited until the last minute to do several things. I waited until 2 weeks before to order the Victoria Principal Secret Complete Vitamins & Skin care set that promised people their skin could look just as youthful as it did the day they turned 20. Which I incidentally cancelled today, they asked why? Well there is more product left in a squeezed out tube of toothpaste then in any of the containers & unfortunately, I only used it about a week, so my skin still looked about 30 give or take 10 years. What can I say? It was 2 in the morning when I sneaked out of my bedroom murmuring the 1 800 number until I could write it & dial it without waking my husband.

In retrospect, I should have used the extra 50 bucks to have my hair done. Which looks exceptionally good today-but looked pretty horrible for the reunion (I always get the most compliments when I wash it at night & let my pillow do the styling-no kidding it looks curlier, fuller & even styled-which was necessitated last night by having one of my patients get sick & heave her stomach contents up splashing all over my arm, I was too tired to blow dry my hair after my shower when I got home from work-who am I kidding, I would have never blow dried my hair before going to bed) but alas, just for the reunion I thought what the heck, maybe this time it will work (even it it never has), & I tried styling it & blow drying it myself which of course it totally looked like it, my hair did not cooperate at all! The funny thing was I didn't notice how frizzy it got until we were leaving from the reunion & I happened to glance at my reflection in a mirror-EGADS! It was frizzy out to "here" {see me holding my hads 18" apart}. But since I was hurrying to meet up with my carpoolers & I did my make up in the car & and did not even think to recheck myself in the ladies room. I was so excited to meet everyone & check out the old photos, displays, etc. I could only comment to my fellow carpoolers AS WE WERE LEAVING, "Well it's obvious I didn't use enough styling product in my hair-it certainly wasn't this frizzy when I left!" To make me feel better one of the fellow carpoolers mumbled something to the effect, maybe in high school he had enough hair to worry about, it getting frizzy without styling product, but certainly not now, after I mentioned it looked like he certainly remembered to use enough styling product.

The other rather obvious thing I procrasted in was trimming down. I can only say I won the verbal award for the "Breeders Cup" by having the most children. Five. Of course I had to take my pre-packed picture of my 5 kids to the other winner who tied me and she had the nerve to admit well, she really only had 2 (or maybe was it 3?) The rest were step kids she was claiming. UNfair! I GAINED PREGNANT WEIGHT 5 TIMES, SHE ONLY DID IT A COUPLE! I totally should have been the SOLE winner. When they called my name, I graciously stood up & took a bow. Besides going to the gym, (which incidentally is where I should be right now, but thought this absolutely had to be posted without further delay-I can always exercise later, right?) I pulled out a pair of Silkies ULTRA Control Top (translated in two other languages Slikies ULTRA FIGUR PERFEKT, & SILIKES ULTRA TOP MINCEUR can all only mean one thing-they help you suck it all in).

Let me tell you about these SILKIES PANTYHOSE. My mother, bless her dear heart (she passed away about 3 years ago) always told us a couple of main things, "Always wear clean underwear in case you are in an accident," and "Stand up straight & hold your stomach in." I'm guessing she never wanted to run out of panty hose as between my 3 siblings & myself, we now each have enough pairs of panty hose to say, outfit an entire drill team, for 3 seasons. Just kidding, but thank you Mom, I will never have to buy another pair of panty hose for a very,very, long time. It was quite fortunate she thought in her infinite wisdom to buy these CONTROL TOP HOSE, because if I had only worn knee high's, I would have never been able to zip up the size 12 pants dress black pants I bought with little shimmery pin-stripes (of course to help with the slimming & making you look taller effect, since I am not even 5 feet tall-that was another thing, a lot of people grew taller, and sadly I did not). And I forgot to mention, I normally wear size 14, but remember I had great hopes of slimming down! I couldn't quite get them to zip without the CONTROL TOP hose on, but once I put them on, WA-LA! They Zipped! So I'm estimating they took a visible inch from in front & from behind. I only wished they could have taken maybe another 2 inches off, perhaps 5 even, yes that would have been good!

Now that I have diverged, let me sum it up, it was lovely to see familiar faces & hear how everyone was doing. It was amazing to think & reflect what I have done with my life these past 30 years-mainly taking care of my 5 children, so what if I was not the same 99 pounds in high school, that my hair was frizzy, my pants too tight, the posed picture they took of me & put in a heart shaped keychain & tried to sell to me for $10 bucks after I already paid $100, looked like the former me with a growth around my neck & face (or like my one friend who came at the last minute even though she didn't loose her 35 pounds either exclaimed she looked like a blown up "basketball")in her heart reunion commemorative key chain, and in my haste in putting on my make-up in the car only put on one of my very long dangly, earrings, I realize I have no illusions. There were a few kind hearted souls that actually complimented me, I think either they were lying through their teeth, or perhaps their forty-something vision was pretty bad, or their lasix doctor didn't do a great job, but no, they were nice guys then and still had kind hearts now. So, after it was all said & done, I came home to my family, snuggled in my husband's arms, reflected on my many blessings and felt at peace. Life is good.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

30 year Class Reunion

This gives me time to reflect on many things...mainly how much weight can a person loose in 2 weeks...say 50 pounds or so? Rats! I thought not! I've known about this for ummm, let's see...about 5 months or so and since that time I have managed to loose 5 pounds (that was of course after I gained them first). But at least they are lost again, each time I step on the scale I hope to never see them again. Perhaps I'm just being thoughtful, because if all of us who needed to loose weight in say the next 2 1/2- 3 weeks actually did so, the earth would spin off its orbit out of balance. So really I'm just trying to think of world peace, balance, harmony, etc.

While perusing through possible memorabilia for this reunion I came upon my year book and photos of me in a "leotard" in various gymnastics team photos, with some of my kids peering mysteriously(thankfully not all 5 of them at the same time as I don't think my psyche could have handled it), made various comments such as "Wow, Mom, no way was that you!" As I roll my eyeballs up into my head, (something strictly forbidden for my kids to do when I talk to them), and calmly think, "Yes, I actually used to do something that physically exerting B.C." [definintion of B.C.- 1. ante or before children, or giving birth to children 2. sloughing of your brain cells with each placenta delivered, along with actual physical changes nearly impossible to get back without major plastic surgery.] No, that wasn't Barbie doing the splits in that picture laminated with contact paper grandma has thumbtacked to her wall- that's me, yup I actually did the splits on the balance beam too, no less. Then I point to the picture of myself and the caption which I now recall from 30 years ago says someone else's name, so now they're starting to not really believe me except that the picture of the person above my name shows someone who is at least 1 1/2 feet taller than I, and a blonde (I have very dark brown hair, well most of it is, well actually on the top about 75% is, well, actually my hairdresser last time I went actually said only 20% really is dark brown [I think she is lying to get me in more frequently], but to the naked eye it looks 99% black all over). Not to mention the picture resembling my likeness 20 years ago, oops okay 30 years ago B.C. is not a pound over 95. Yes, as you may have guessed it, I have slightly puffed out a little. At least according to how my youngest son then 9 now 11 put it one day...

Mom: (While bending over putting cans away in the pantry) hears son say,

Son: "Mom, your butt is big."

Mom: "Excuse me, that is not a very nice thing to say."

Son: "Okay, sorry Mom, Maybe it's only a little bit big (indicating about 2 inches with his thumb & index finger...comparison-Mt. Everest is just a little hill)."

Let's see, Anything else I feel insecure about? As I look at people my age and what they have accomplished I recall something a physician my age (who incidentally also competed in gymnastics at the same time I did in junior college) said to me when I mentioned all she had done since I knew her in junior college, she became a nurse, went to medical school, became an obstetrician..., "Yeah, but look what you have done!" I'm thinking, well I became a nurse and then she referred to a picture of my 5 children posted on the requisite bulletin board of all the nurses kids, and proceeded to tell me how wonderful it was that I had the privilege of having 5 children, and to consider what an accomplishment that was. With her career in medicine she was able to fit in one child only. Okay, I got her point. I would never have traded any of my children for a career in medicine, umm, I cannot lie, I might have been tempted to maybe sell a few, or pay someone money to take a few of them, during choice stages of temper tantrumhood. But all in all I guess I am one proud mama.